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Fun I love, but too much fun is of all things the most loathsome. Mirth is better than fun, and happiness is better than mirth.

Carlyle, Thomas | Funny

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Fran Lebowitz | Funny

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Lucille Ball | Funny

You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.

Steve Irwin | Funny

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

Colin Quinn | Funny

You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there.

Lawrence Kasdan | Funny

You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

Fiona Apple | Funny

You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny group than critics - you couldn't find a more bitter group of people!

Todd Phillips | Funny

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.

Eminem | Funny

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me.

Harry Connick, Jr. | Funny

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Don Rickles | Funny

You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.

Jamie Foxx | Funny

You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

Donald Trump | Funny

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

Colin Quinn | Funny

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

David R. Ellis | Funny

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

Larry David | Funny

You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.

Terry Bradshaw | Funny

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

Denis Leary | Funny

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

Ken Kesey | Funny

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

Colin Quinn | Funny

You can't be funny if you don't have good material.

Matt LeBlanc | Funny

You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do.

Hank Azaria | Funny

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Milton Berle | Funny

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.

Howard Stern | Funny

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny, but working with him, I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre, he could be a very funny man to work with, always telling jokes and holding court. Of course, when I worked with Charlie he was getting older.

Tippi Hedren | Funny

Women's humor seems to be a little more supportive. It's just kind of trying to make the other one laugh through funny voices and kind of talking about other people. I respond to that. I feel less like I'm going to get beat up in a room full of women than I do in a room full of guys.

Paul Feig | Funny

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

Shahrukh Khan | Funny

With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy.

Carrie Brownstein | Funny

With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.

Kristen Wiig | Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Benjamin Franklin | Funny

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!

Mitch Hedberg | Funny

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Robert Benchley | Funny

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Robin Williams | Funny

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

George Lopez | Funny

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

Don Rickles | Funny

Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.

Chris Pratt | Funny

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.

Jo Brand | Funny

When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.

Esther Williams | Funny

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

Richard Lewis | Funny

When you are not treated seriously, you develop comically. Its sense of oneself is so fractured and fragile that it's like the picked-on kid who has to become funny.

Scott Thompson | Funny

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein | Funny

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

Jane Wagner | Funny

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Elayne Boosler | Funny

When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.

Mo Rocca | Funny

When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.

Scott Thompson | Funny

When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.

Zach Galifianakis | Funny

When I was in college, I was in the theater department, which for anyone who has been involved in any kind of theater program, you know that it's really wacky and tight-knit, a real family. Me and my good friends from college would do random shows and plays that were sometimes serious, but most of the time really goofy and funny.

Darren Criss | Funny

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.

Whoopi Goldberg | Funny

When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them, 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

Mindy Kaling | Funny

When I was a kid, I wanted to be serious, like Daniel Day-Lewis. No one really dreams of being a comic actor, do they? Now I realise how stupid that is - and it's because comic acting isn't taken seriously enough. It's a discipline. You know instantly - either you're funny and getting the laughs, or you're not.

Chris O'Dowd | Funny

When I was a kid I had this funny blonde hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird.

Nicky Hilton | Funny

When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.

Courteney Cox | Funny

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns | Funny

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

Paul Merton | Funny

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

David Brenner | Funny

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

Rita Rudner | Funny

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.

Francois Truffaut | Funny

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen.

Nate Silver | Funny

What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going to go for, and it's just great.

Paul Feig | Funny

What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one.

Ashley Scott | Funny

What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually.

Stephenie Meyer | Funny

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright | Funny

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

George Orwell | Funny

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.

Scott Hamilton | Funny

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you.

Anthony Holden | Funny

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

David Sedaris | Funny

What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Dianna Agron | Funny

What I don't like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where there's no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you don't want is funny scene, funny scene, funny scene, and now here's the epiphany scene and then the movie's over.

Paul Feig | Funny

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

W. Clement Stone | Funny

We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!

Josh Hutcherson | Funny

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

James Thurber | Funny

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

Betty White | Funny

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

Alanis Morissette | Funny

Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny.

Candace Bushnell | Funny

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

George Carlin | Funny

We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.

Colin Mochrie | Funny

We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.

Logan P. Smith | Funny

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.

Ethan Hawke | Funny

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.

Sheena Easton | Funny

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.

Zach Galifianakis | Funny

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

Calvin Trillin | Funny

Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.

David Ogden Stiers | Funny

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

Robert Byrne | Funny

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

Drew Carey | Funny

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright | Funny

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.

Eminem | Funny

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Mel Brooks | Funny

To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand, you don't hear men saying, 'No she's not pretty, but is she ever funny!'

Catherine O'Hara | Funny

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

Reba McEntire | Funny

To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

Seth Rogen | Funny

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Rita Rudner | Funny

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.

Mitch Hedberg | Funny

This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'

Jane Pauley | Funny

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible.

Rory McIlroy | Funny

This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!

Vanessa Hudgens | Funny

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

Flip Wilson | Funny

They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls.

Laura Bush | Funny

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?

Casey Stengel | Funny

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Clint Eastwood | Funny

They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny.That made me the coolest aunt on earth.

Tina Yothers | Funny

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Dennis Miller | Funny